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Riding on the excitement from Anime Expo this weekend, I kind of wanted to talk a little bit about the fandom experience. I’ve touched on the subject a little bit before in a general sense (see: Why I Cosplay), but I think it’s important to share the feeling of having what I call a “fandom family”.

If you’re not in the cosplay scene, and/or are otherwise unfamiliar with the term, a fandom is a group of people (aka nerds) who are all interested in the same thing. Game of Thrones fans, Star Trek fans, etc. are all fandoms. These can be huge fanbases like the aforementioned, or all the way down to the most obscure, niche thing you just happened to find on the internet and show your friend. If you’re part of a group that likes a thing, congratulations: you’ve joined a fandom.

I’m in a lot of different fandoms, and each of them have their own unique vibe from the people in it. It was a bit of a culture shock going to a comic book convention after having exclusively attended anime cons for a couple years; the energy in the hall was completely different. Some fandoms are loud and boisterous, others more laid back. Every fandom basically has its own dynamic and culture, and not all are created equal.

Fandom families are what I call it when you join a fandom and it just… Clicks. You really start to feel like not just a group of people that like a thing, but people who have bonded and developed friendships. Your fandom family are the people you miss after the con ends, the ones who develop nicknames and inside jokes, who burn cupcakes in your oven and who your cat probably loves more than she loves you.

My first fandom family was the Hetalia fandom. I’ve known some of my Hetalia friends for almost 10 years now; they only knew me as Hungary when we first met, but a lot of us have gotten to be super close personal friends. The other day, I saw a post I made on Facebook just after I met my cosplay husband eight years ago (love you honey <3 ). I had no idea back in 2011 that all the people I’d met then would end up becoming so incredibly important to me. In cosplay or out, these are people who have become a regular fixture in my life. Even when I started branching out and cosplaying other fandoms, I always found myself migrating back to the Hetalians’ domain at the end of the day; years later, going to a Hetalia gathering still feels like coming home.

As I said, not all fandoms are created equal. I’ve made friends and had good times with all the fandoms that I’ve been in, but most are not what I would consider a fandom family for me. That’s not to say I disliked any of them, on the contrary; I love each and every one of my fandoms, and have represented all of them with pride. It’s just that I didn’t feel whatever it was that kept drawing me home to Hetalia, and for the longest time I assumed it was the nostalgia for my first fandom. There was just something special that made it stand out, and I couldn’t even figure out what it was.

As I sat at another fandom’s gathering recently, I took a second to look around. There were perhaps a couple faces I recognized from here and there, but the only person I really knew was the friend I had come with. When I joined that particular fandom, I remember more of my Hetalia friends had been into it, but they had long since migrated to other things. I came to realize that while I liked the fandom and the media it was based on, it lacked the connection I had felt with my Hetalia friends. I had fun, but it wasn’t a fandom family.

Now, who wants to take a wild guess as to what my newest fandom family is? Drum roll, please……………….

If you guessed Castlevania, you are 100% correct. Gold stars all around ! I was honestly a bit intimidated stepping into the Castlevania fandom. Everywhere else I’d been, I had either my main circle with me or overlap from the Hetalians. I was the first of my friends to stumble across this franchise, and didn’t know what to expect from the fanbase. As I fell in love with Alucard and began work on his cosplay, I prayed that the fandom would be kind; I didn’t want to be called a “fake fan” for not having played the games (gatekeeping is bullshit by the way, let people enjoy things), and I was afraid of the fandom being super elitist or something.

Boy, was I worried for nothing. I’ve only been cosplaying Alucard for a year now, and already I can feel the unmistakable pull of another fandom family. These are my people, no doubt about it. From the minute I stepped out in Alucard’s costume, I’ve received nothing but love from all the new friends I’ve made here. Castlevania came to me during a really hard time (not going into the story again, as you’ve all probably heard it by now), and I was honestly stunned when I had people who had only just met me say “hey, I’m here if you need someone.” I’m fortunate to have a huge circle of support from family and friends around me, and it makes me so happy to see that circle ever growing.

And that’s what fandom family means to me; we’re not just a collection of geeks who like the same nerdy thing. A fandom family are the ones who stand apart from the crowd trying to force their way through the artist alley. They’re the ones who cry with you when the escalator eats your costume, the people almost as excited about hosting your first gathering as you are, and whose arms you run into yelling “MOMMYYYYY!!” the minute you see them.

If you’ve never had a fandom family, you are missing out. It’s really hard to describe accurately the love I have for these people. It’s a bond that goes deeper than simply “hey, we like x thing!” It’s knowing that even if you’re dressed like dorks and crammed like sardines into a convention hall, these people care. They’re with you through the highs and lows, and they make your life and your fandom experience richer. It may be a different fandom for everybody, but once you find it, you’ll know. And if you’ve found a fandom family, hang on to them; I know I will.

Also just a note: this isn’t a comprehensive list of everyone in my fandom family! For some reason I don’t have pictures of everyone.

The post On Fandom Families appeared first on Jennifer Lidikay.

Looking back on it, I know it’s a little silly, but I was absolutely fascinated. I thought Art was the coolest person ever, and you know why? Because his name was ART. Art was my favorite subject in school, and that was his name! How awesome was that?!? I remember finding him a few times that day, and he cheerfully gave me stickers and hugs and signed my little book.

Fast forward to me at 24, working at my day job. You might remember I wrote an article earlier about my difficulties recognizing people (See: Hi, Have We Met?), and unfortunately, my day job involves seeing a lot of people all day, every day, and every one of them expects me to recognize them on sight. So one day, I had this man come in with a little girl, who tilted her head, looked at me and asked “Hi, do you remember me?”

My heart just about stopped. I racked my brain, trying to think of where I would have seen this girl before. A con? A volunteer event? Please, don’t tell me she recognizes me from the city’s Santa Float where I pretend to be Santa’s elf; I didn’t want to have to explain why my ears suddenly weren’t pointy anymore. Either way, I had to tell her I didn’t remember her, and she looked absolutely heartbroken. She turned to her dad and said “But we’ve been here lots, and I remember her! Why doesn’t she remember me?”

Her dad convinced her that I just didn’t remember her because she hadn’t introduced herself to me. So she did, and I committed it to memory. That’s the thing with me; I do learn, it just takes me a while. But I found that a huge motivator is DO NOT UPSET THE CHILD. The next time she came by, she smiled and waved, and I called her by name. I was determined to remember her from then on.

Then I got to thinking. I remembered the trip to Disneyland, and my friend Art the janitor. And I came to realize that to this little girl, I was the coolest person ever. That makes me feel pretty darn special. I wonder sometimes if that’s how Art felt all those years ago, with five-year-old me asking for his autograph next to Snow White.

My day job is not glamorous. It’s not a job that a lot of people look up to; I work long hours on my feet while I get yelled at, hit on, and even have things thrown at me (true story). It’s the kind of job that you start to see a really horrible side to people. But if there’s one thing that makes it worth it, it’s knowing that there’s a little girl out there who will always have a smile for me, and gets excited to see me because I’m her favorite person.

I can’t help but to feel like things really do come full circle. I used to look back and think I was such a cringey kid, having a fascination with a janitor at Disneyland, but now, I hope that I brought a little bit of light into what was probably not the greatest job for him. I hope he felt as special as I do every time that little girl comes by and waves at me.

The post Little Ones and Little Things appeared first on Jennifer Lidikay.